The Mother of them All.
We crown Jezebel the Mother of all Whores.

Who is Jezebel? Today, Jezebel is often referred to as a powerful influence. Many argue that Jezebel is not gender-specific.

'Jezebel is a figurative and spiritual name for us. She is a whore and a witch whose spirit endures in the church by taking over the vineyard of the Lord.'

As far as the specifics of the history of Jezebel goes, she was said to be the daughter of Ethbaal, King of Zidonians. After King Ahab of Israel exhibited his taste for evil, he married her. It is said the stoning to death of Naboth was sparked by Jezebel, when she slandered him after he forbid Ahab from obtaining his vineyard.

They got the vineyard and then some.

Critics of Jezebel contribute the ongoing debate between the separation of church and state, in no small part, to her. In fact, she is often called a 'licentious false prophet.' Prophet of what? We're not real clear on that, but we do know that she had a heavy hand in the origins of the Thyatira Church of the Seven Churches of the Revelation.

Apparently, when Jesus had had enough with her, he 'said,' 'You suffer that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication and she repented not. Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they who repent of their deeds.'

Goodness. That kind of talk makes my head spin.

She's also considered the mother of all whores. Jezebel, the original lady of the night. One thing that you often hear that is associated with Jezebel is that she covered her face with makeup. Evil of all evils! Revlon and Maybelline and all the others have her to thank. Wouldn't that be a great cosmetics line? Jezebel Cosmetics: for the wanton woman in you.

In addition to the cardinal sin of applying cosmetics and other forms of trickery, Jezebel is said to have murdered the prophets of the Lord and to have hidden others in a cave with bread and water. She is reported to have led her husband into the same idolatry.

Shouldn't she be recognized for her hard work and accomplishments? If she were around today, surely she'd be bestowed with some type of honor; an action hero, at the very least.

• Jenna Jameson
• Jane Says
• Jezebel